Jake just graduated nursing school and has started the job hunting process. My job is allowing me the opportunity to work from home. This all means that I will soon become a stay at home mom.
I have dreamed of this day for so long and have always been so very excited for the opportunity. I couldn't wait to be able to spend every day with my kids and watch every aspect from sun up to sun down, inside and outside, every day of the week. Now that it's finally here - I'm honestly terrified! I have heard so many mom's talk about how hard it is to be a SAHM and I know it's going to be a hard transition for me. I have worked outside the home for so long that I am so afraid of what the future holds. Admitting how afraid I am brings me to tears and I'm sure it makes me sound ridiculous. I love my children and I know we will find a way to make it work for all of us and we will love it; but right now, I'm afraid.
I'm afraid I'll lose my identity and sanity.
I'm afraid we'll get bored and not know what to do every.single.day.
I'm afraid I won't feel appreciated, accomplished or recognized.
I'm afraid I won't fit in all the things I want/need to.
I'm afraid my kids will be disappointed in me.
I'm afraid chaos will ensue and I won't have a system or organization to juggle all the tasks.
I'm afraid my anxiety will take hold or depression will find me.
I'm afraid I won't find my "mom group" that will accept me and my kids.
I'm afraid I won't find my "groove" that all mom's seem to have.
I'm afraid of losing control.
I'm afraid I won't be able to handle it.
I'm afraid I'm going to fail - fail my children, fail myself, fail my husband.
I'm afraid I won't like it as much as I always dreamed I would.
I have so many shining examples of wonderful mothers that I hope I can gleam some knowledge from to make this transition smoother. I can't wait to be home with my kids and love on them every second of every day. I'm going to figure out this stay at home mom thing and face all my fears so I can become a better mom and person overall. In the meantime - I'm totally open to all kinds of play dates and advice anyone has to offer. :)