And Then There Were Four

WARNING - SUPER LONG POST AHEAD!

I want to remember all the great stuff about when the girls were born so below is a story of their birth but it's not super detailed and gross - just the exciting important stuff we want to remember.

On Friday the 20th of September I was 34 weeks 4 days and I went in for my normal NST (non-stress test) that I had been having twice a week, as well as a follow up with my doctor to see how I was doing. I hadn't been having contractions but there were some concerns at our last ultrasound because one of the babies was a pound smaller and the placenta was aging. I had dilated to a 1 and was effacing a little bit but nothing serious. I was in a hurry to get out and back to work and as an after thought I asked the doctor how my blood pressure was because early in the pregnancy they had been concerned that it was a little high. He decided to test it just to make sure - my blood pressure ended up being 141/95 (normal is 120/80). It was a little elevated so he decided to do a urine test and it came back that there was protein in my urine; an indicator of preeclampsia.

At this point my doctor told me to call my husband and go straight to labor and delivery because it was pretty likely that I would be having these babies soon. Instant tears as I worried about all the complications that would come with the babies being early. I was shaking and asking questions like crazy - he said everything would be fine and sent me on my way. I called Jake and my mom and told them to meet me at the hospital. Once I got there I waited in my car for Jake because I was too nervous to go on my own. While waiting I called my friend Hailey to let her know I wouldn't be coming back to work today, or probably for the next couple weeks. Then I called Katie, my sister, and freaked out a little bit more with her. Once Jake got there we realized just how unprepared we were - I hadn't packed a hospital bag, we didn't have preemie clothes, the car-seats were at home so we couldn't even get the babies home if we had them, and a million other trivial thoughts.

We got checked in and they hooked me up and monitored me and the girls for a few hours to see how things were going. They decided to admit me  because my blood pressure was still a little high and gave me shots to help the girls lungs develop (most painful part of the whole process). We stayed in the hospital from Friday until Sunday night just playing the waiting game. I was informed that I would be on bed rest until the girls were born. Jake had to continue going to school while I was there and I always worried that something would happen when he was gone. I started having more contractions. We had lots of visitors and just hung out while we waited to see what would happen.

On Sunday night my blood pressure was normal so they considered letting me leave Monday morning after they got my last urine results back. Early Monday morning they checked my blood pressure and it was 190/110 and the protein in my urine was excessively high. My nurse came in and said it was go time - instant tears again! Jake called our parents and let them know what was happening and I started freaking out. Tons of medical personnel filled the room and started hooking me up to machines - I couldn't stop shaking. Right before they were going to take me into OR I looked at the nurse and told her I wasn't ready and I couldn't do this. It was the scariest moment of my life. She looked back at me and told me it was too late for that but she would give me a minute with my husband to calm down. Everyone left and Jake and I sat for a minute while I freaked out and he continued telling me I had no choice and that everything would be okay. I have horrible anxiety but this was the worst I have ever had. I finally calmed down and held Jake's hand so tight while they finished prepping me. Right before they said Jake had to leave to get ready I felt calm and peace - it was a miracle.

I walked into the OR where there was music blaring and it was freezing. The anesthesiologist gave me a spinal block and then a whole bunch of people started coming in and introducing themselves to me but it's all a blur. They put the sheet up by my face and Jake still wasn't back in the room and anxiety started creeping back in - finally he walked in all suited up just in time for the doctors to start cutting. He grabbed my hand and he tried to keep me calm but was instantly distracted by what was going on below the sheet. I didn't know much of what was happening but heard two sacs pop and a rush of water. June came out first then Marlie. I didn't hear crying at first and was terrified but was quickly told that they were suctioning the babies. The girls both came out feet first and were whisked away to be checked. June had to get just a little oxygen for a few minutes but Jake got to bring Marlie over to my face and let me kiss her. The NICU doctors started to wheel the babies out and Jake went with them, I stayed to get put back together. The girls were here and everything seemed like it was going to be fine. My anxiety was gone but my headache was back with great force. I told the anesthesiologist and he kicked my meds up really high and I went to sleep.

I had to be on magnesium because of my high blood pressure so I felt pretty awful for the first day plus healing from a C-section is not fun. I was informed after everything was calm that I was at high risk for stroke, heart attack and several other serious problems - thank heavens I found that out after. I got back to my room and had to wait to be checked for a bit. I didn't get to go down and see the girls until later that night so I just visited with family during the day. In the meantime Jake and his brother Ben went down and looked at the girls and sent me pictures and videos.

Finally that night Jake wheeled me down and I saw my babies for the first time - they were so tiny and perfect. They didn't have to be on oxygen or antibiotics, just monitored because they were so small and early. There were a lot of wires and it looked so intimidating for such small little girls. I got to hold them for the first time and kiss them and tell them I was their mom. BEST.EVER.

While in the NICU the girls had to have feeding tubes and PICC lines placed to get their weight up. It was so hard and sad to see but we knew it was helping them get better. I always tell Jake that I don't want to remember the NICU so it's hard for me to talk about but I know it's a big part of their life so we need to remember it. The nurses there were amazing and made us feel so comfortable. We could only hold them for a little bit every three hours so we watched them sleep a lot. While there they moved the girls into a bed together and they started doing better once they were together again. They slowly started eating more and showing signs of being ready to go home.

I was discharged from the hospital a few days before the girls came home and this was the hardest part of the whole birth for me. I felt like an awful mom leaving my girls all alone but knew I had no choice. Jake and I basically lived at the hospital during those days. After 10 days in NICU we were told that they could come home! We spent the night in the hospital then surprised everyone and brought the girls home the next day. I remember feeling overwhelmed and scared but it seemed like everything just fell right into place. The girls trusted me and believed that I knew what I was doing so I had to believe that I knew it too. The girls put on weight quickly after going home and are still getting chunky.

The girls have made our family feel more complete. I can't help but think that they gave Jake and I the best present that anyone can give us this year - they made us parents and we love every second of it. (Maybe not waking up every 3 hrs, but they are so worth it!) We love you June Olivia and Marlie Kay!