Mini Golf

We mini golfed with Katie and Dave this past weekend and it took us back to the good old dating days. It was lots of fun. Jake and I each hit a hole in one too. 

Oregon

This trip couldn't have come at a better time! However, I would have been perfectly fine with it lasting a couple more weeks... the end definitely could have come at a better time. None the less, our trip to Oregon was a great success! It included the following:

Voodoo Doughnuts
500 (The game you play with a football normally, we played w/ a frisbee and it was a blast! Although, I was concerned on a regular basis about getting destroyed by the big men in our family)
Sand Volleyball
Several Beach Trips
Sand Kickball (Which I'm almost positive caused some foot damage)
Discovering starfish
Trips to the Creek
Shopping
Great Food
The Great Dalmuti
Lots of Baby Eli!
A Missionary Homecoming
Beautiful Beach House
All sorts of fun things that we did but I just can't remember to write down at this time...
And of course some high quality time with the Mitchell Family

Now here are some photos as evidence (Although, I forgot I had my camera until the very last day we were at the beach house so all of these pictures may or may not be within about an hour of each other...)

Taking a Break

Over 50 ovulation sticks, 15 doctors appointments, 2 ultrasounds, 30 progesterone pills, 25 femara pills, at least 20 negative pregnancy tests, MANY dollars in medical bills, 1,000,000,000 tears, and 12 months of disappointment later - Jake and I are taking a break from trying to start a family.

After a disappointing doctors appointment on Friday, Jake and I decided we (mostly I) can't handle the stress and devastation anymore.

We went in for our second ultrasound hoping that we could get the trigger shot that would give the go ahead for my body to finally ovulate but... no such luck. My ovaries are pro at creating cysts (I've got about 20) but when it comes to follicles - they struggle.

Once we got out of the office I hurt more than I ever have in my life for so many reasons and I cried for each one of them: (1) My emotions have been ridiculous ever since we started messing with my hormones to try to fix me (I cry watching commercials for the Olympics on a regular basis). (2) I feel like I have failed at being a woman. (3) I feel like I let Jake down. (4) I don't get that precious baby I have wanted more than anything in the world. (5) What a waste of money. (6) We have to start all over again.

Jake even cried, but his reasons were different: (1) He hated seeing me in so much pain.

The doctor had told me that the 3rd time on the femara was a charm - but it wasn't. I had my hopes up so high when I knew I shouldn't have. People kept telling me, "It will happen when it's supposed to." "Maybe it's not your time." "There's a different plan in store." I heard them and understood but in my mind I kept thinking that the Lord requires you to put in effort too. I can't just think that the Lord will put a baby in my belly when he wants, I need to go through the steps and put in the effort that it requires.

I was putting in the effort and being patient (or so I thought) and I still wasn't getting what I wanted and it was killing me.

So many people have said that they weren't even trying and it just happened and I wanted that to happen for us, but we're different - I'm different.

I was ashamed to tell people that we wanted to start a family but it wasn't happening the way we had planned. I didn't want people to know how bad I wanted a family because sometimes the attempts to console me just made it that much harder.

This is when I decided that I had the wrong mindset. I might have been taking all the right steps but I wasn't in the right frame of mind. I just need to have the faith that everyone was telling me I needed to have in the first place. I was putting too much stress on my body and asking it to do something that maybe it really wasn't supposed to do yet.

So, Jake and I are taking a break to give my body and mind the rest that it needs. I'm not taking any more pills, or peeing on any more sticks because my sanity can't handle that anymore. I don't want to put Jake through anymore of my craziness.

Yes, we still want a baby more than anything in the world but we have a different frame of mind now.

We are taking time for us because that's what we have right now and it's more than enough for us.

The Many Hairstyles of Jake Mitchell

Jake is growing his hair out... (It's already bugging him though so who knows how much longer this will last... Yay!) Here are a few of my favorite styles.

The side view of his lucious locks!

This is his normal style - what a PYT! (pretty young thang!)

Natural or Beachy Curls

The Pull Back

The Hippie Headband

The Bed Head

The High Ponytail

The 24th In Photos

Two Years!

On Saturday Jake and I celebrated our 2nd anniversary of being married. It was so much fun! We didn't have much time to go far because Jake had lots of tests to take on Saturday so we just spent the night up in Salt Lake at the Anniversary Inn. We got to sit and talk about more than just homework and work which was delightful. I love little get aways with my hubby! This week started off so much better already just because this weekend was so relaxing and fun. We saw the new Spiderman, walked around City Creek and ate at yummy Tucci's. I can't wait for another excuse to go on a quick trip with Jake, I sure do love him! Here's to 2 years and eternity more!

And finally for some pictures!!

I Love Him!

Some statues in our room. Ha ha

This balloon was from our first year anniversary. Remember when Jake did this... Well this little guy stuck around the whole year so we decided to ceremoniously pop it on our two year anniversary. He made it!

Randoms

The reason for my lack of blogging is not because we have a crazy busy life and there's just no time to blog. The reason for my lack of blogging is not because I have too many things to say and I just don't know how to put it.
The reason for my lack of blogging is not because I was keeping you waiting for something amazing.
The reason for my lack of blogging is not because I don't want you to read my blog.

The reason for my lack of blogging is because this is basically our life schedule at this point:
Jake
-School
-Work
-School
-Homework
-Lab
-Studying
-Food
-Homework
-TV
-Sleep
-Repeat
(Please notice how frequently school takes over my husbands life at this time. No need to have pity for me though, I do that enough by myself.)

Karlie
-Work
-Cook
-Sew
-Knit
-TV
-Food
-Sleep
(Does this show resemblence of the schedule of an 80 year old women?)

I'm pretty sure that doesn't interest any of you, hence, the lack of blogging. So I apologize. However, I will delight you with some of my random thoughts and hope for a little input on some of the questions below:

Since Jake and I lack cable capabilities (we are too poor) we watch TV series instead. We recently finished watching "How I Met Your Mother" (all seasons) and "Happy Endings" - We need some opinions for new great shows that we should watch. We prefer humorous shows please.

Jake thinks that Dyson beats Oreck, I prefer Oreck. What do you prefer? What are your reasons?

Now that Medical School is in the not so distant future, Jake and I are looking at places to apply. Does anyone have any thoughts in this area? What states are super awesome? Where would you most likely visit me if we attend school there?

I'm really enjoying this book, "Feel the Fear... and Do It Anyway" but there are definitely parts I don't agree with. I like self-help type books a lot, not necessarily because I believe everything in them, but I like to see how different people look at life. Some of my favorite books are "How To Win Friends and Influence People" and "7 Habits of Highly Effective People" -If you know any books like these, please share the knowledge.

I'm intently considering going back to school. It won't happen now, (because as mentioned before, we're poor) but I really do want to go back. I am toying with the idea of either getting a math endorsement or getting my masters. I looked into getting my masters in education and that doesn't really thrill me, but I've always been interested in teaching at a college level so I figured maybe I would go back for a masters in a health field so I could teach anatomy or something cool like that. I also absolutely love psychology! Who knows, maybe I will get a random degree.

For those of you that don't know, anxiety has been a huge issue for me in my life. I used to laugh at people who actually thought self talk worked, but through reading some of my self-help books, I actually think it's valuable. I wake up in the mornings and talk to myself about how awesome I am, and I really do think it's starting to help me. Either that, or I'm just making myself really cocky and unrealistic...

My sister is having a baby, she finds out what sex it is just a few weeks! Wow!

Jake and I have been married for 2 years this Saturday, time flies!! However, our engagement was forever long. Looking back to when I did this post seems like it was ages ago, I'm glad we made it past the engagement.

Well, I think that's enough of my random thoughts for now. Next time I post I promise it will be worth while. If you made it this far, thanks for reading! :)